Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Highs and Lows
There have been lots of highs and lows over the last day or so around here. First the high: Lillian Agnes Kinsey was born last night, on Christmas Eve, at 11:12pm. It was a beautiful home water birth and we couldn't have asked for a more amazing and blessed experience. She weighed in at 8lb7oz, 20 3/4 inches long, with a 14 inch head. She started nursing like a champ shortly after birth and has kept it up ever since. She is so sweet, such a relaxed personality and so much fun to be around. We thank God for her!
I'll give you the promised rundown of the birth story. For all of you birthy friends out there, I'll write a more detailed story later and send it to you privately. Otherwise, here's the bare bones. I got a high leak in my water on December 16th and we thought she was coming right away. Friends helped us get a birth pool and other needed items. Our doula came over and we thought things were getting going contraction wise but they fizzled out. This was the same day that Mom was admitted to Duke, so stress was running high and that probably had something to do with it. Anyway, the leak seemed to seal over and then for the next week, I would go into what seemed to be labor and then it would fizzle out. I worked hard at relaxing and resting. Allen really helped me out by babysitting my phone to keep distractions to a minimum. He was also off for the entire week of Christmas, which was helpful for support with Will and with all that has been going on with Mom.
Anyway, if you're wondering, yes there are certain hygienic measures you take when you've had a leak in your water. Don't need to get into them, but we were careful and decided to wait for labor to truly begin on its own. On December 23rd I started getting regular contractions that continued all day and through the night and into the 24th. I was able to get a few hours of rest here and there, so they didn't develop into a full-blown labor pattern. At 6:00 on the 24th, my labor really picked up with contractions two minutes apart, lasting a minute or more each. I wanted to pay attention to Will opening his Christmas gifts but just couldn't focus on anything but the contractions. Allen called the midwives and our doula and they arrived around 8:00. I hit transition somewhere around 10:00 and then after 20 minutes or so of pushing, Lillian was born at 11:12 p.m. in the birthing pool. My midwife passed her through my legs and I got to be the one to pull her out of the water for the first time. What a blessed experience!! :-D
I will update with pictures later on. I'm a little tired right now, but I promise to share as soon as I upload them to the computer.
Now for lows. Mom is having a really, really tough time. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. Her pain medication was affecting renal function, so yesterday they decided to pull her off of it. Her pain became overwhelming and she hit a major breaking point, where she panicked and wanted her life to end. Gramme and Grandpa were there for all of this and Marilyn was on the phone. I can't begin to imagine what that must have felt like. Duke was able to sedate her and work with her pain management to bring her to a place of peace again. Today, I spoke with her and she was pretty desperate but from what I understand she was better than yesterday. She was asking why she was alone, why she was still here, why I wasn't there, why Gramme and Grandpa weren't there, why nobody was doing anything for her, etc. They gave her some kind of medication when I was on the phone with her and all of a sudden the most important thing to her was repeating my phone number and having the nurse put it on the white board. She did that for about 10 minutes. I told her that Lily had been born and let her hear Lily sneeze in the phone, which she seemed to enjoy. I also told her what a calm and wonderful baby she is and that seemed to also help her feel peaceful. Marilyn spoke on the phone with her after I got off and she was having a rough time again but they came to ice her body and to give her some kind of sedative to help her get some rest and when Marilyn got off the phone with her she was dozing off.
We really need to get some answers about what is going on with her so that she can have some quality of life and peace. We are supposed to get those answers on Monday and things really need to get moving. Her current quality of life is unacceptable, horrible to witness and just unfair. The one thing she's always said is that she doesn't care what happens to her, she just doesn't want to feel pain. It breaks my heart that we can't make that happen for her right now. She didn't have the kind of Christmas I wanted for her today and I truly miss my Mom. Opening gifts from her was bittersweet as we know how she is as a person, vs what she is forced to endure right now.
So, there you have it...highs and lows. Our family is truly experiencing both ends of the spectrum right now. We rejoice in God's gift of new life in Lily and are so sad about what Mom is going through. We hope that Lily can bring hope and joy to family and friends and that we can somehow find some peace and answers for Mom.
I'll give you the promised rundown of the birth story. For all of you birthy friends out there, I'll write a more detailed story later and send it to you privately. Otherwise, here's the bare bones. I got a high leak in my water on December 16th and we thought she was coming right away. Friends helped us get a birth pool and other needed items. Our doula came over and we thought things were getting going contraction wise but they fizzled out. This was the same day that Mom was admitted to Duke, so stress was running high and that probably had something to do with it. Anyway, the leak seemed to seal over and then for the next week, I would go into what seemed to be labor and then it would fizzle out. I worked hard at relaxing and resting. Allen really helped me out by babysitting my phone to keep distractions to a minimum. He was also off for the entire week of Christmas, which was helpful for support with Will and with all that has been going on with Mom.
Anyway, if you're wondering, yes there are certain hygienic measures you take when you've had a leak in your water. Don't need to get into them, but we were careful and decided to wait for labor to truly begin on its own. On December 23rd I started getting regular contractions that continued all day and through the night and into the 24th. I was able to get a few hours of rest here and there, so they didn't develop into a full-blown labor pattern. At 6:00 on the 24th, my labor really picked up with contractions two minutes apart, lasting a minute or more each. I wanted to pay attention to Will opening his Christmas gifts but just couldn't focus on anything but the contractions. Allen called the midwives and our doula and they arrived around 8:00. I hit transition somewhere around 10:00 and then after 20 minutes or so of pushing, Lillian was born at 11:12 p.m. in the birthing pool. My midwife passed her through my legs and I got to be the one to pull her out of the water for the first time. What a blessed experience!! :-D
I will update with pictures later on. I'm a little tired right now, but I promise to share as soon as I upload them to the computer.
Now for lows. Mom is having a really, really tough time. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. Her pain medication was affecting renal function, so yesterday they decided to pull her off of it. Her pain became overwhelming and she hit a major breaking point, where she panicked and wanted her life to end. Gramme and Grandpa were there for all of this and Marilyn was on the phone. I can't begin to imagine what that must have felt like. Duke was able to sedate her and work with her pain management to bring her to a place of peace again. Today, I spoke with her and she was pretty desperate but from what I understand she was better than yesterday. She was asking why she was alone, why she was still here, why I wasn't there, why Gramme and Grandpa weren't there, why nobody was doing anything for her, etc. They gave her some kind of medication when I was on the phone with her and all of a sudden the most important thing to her was repeating my phone number and having the nurse put it on the white board. She did that for about 10 minutes. I told her that Lily had been born and let her hear Lily sneeze in the phone, which she seemed to enjoy. I also told her what a calm and wonderful baby she is and that seemed to also help her feel peaceful. Marilyn spoke on the phone with her after I got off and she was having a rough time again but they came to ice her body and to give her some kind of sedative to help her get some rest and when Marilyn got off the phone with her she was dozing off.
We really need to get some answers about what is going on with her so that she can have some quality of life and peace. We are supposed to get those answers on Monday and things really need to get moving. Her current quality of life is unacceptable, horrible to witness and just unfair. The one thing she's always said is that she doesn't care what happens to her, she just doesn't want to feel pain. It breaks my heart that we can't make that happen for her right now. She didn't have the kind of Christmas I wanted for her today and I truly miss my Mom. Opening gifts from her was bittersweet as we know how she is as a person, vs what she is forced to endure right now.
So, there you have it...highs and lows. Our family is truly experiencing both ends of the spectrum right now. We rejoice in God's gift of new life in Lily and are so sad about what Mom is going through. We hope that Lily can bring hope and joy to family and friends and that we can somehow find some peace and answers for Mom.
Friday, December 24, 2010
A Little Info
I've been detained with contractions, so Allen called Mom's doctor to ask some questions. He asked about how her involvement in the clinical trial for multiple myeloma would impact the treatment of her current condition. The doctor said that it has no impact on how they are treating her and there is even a clause in the contract that outlines that. He also said that they're actually not 100% sure what the masses in her peritoneal cavity are. They aren't sure that it is ovarian cancer as originally thought, but they also aren't sure that it isn't. A couple of days ago, the ob/gyn oncology doctors spoke with Mom and said they were organizing a team of people to meet with her and decide on the course of action from here on out. That plan makes more sense now that we know that they are really still trying to figure this stuff out.
I haven't spoken with Mom yet today but I did talk with her some yesterday. She was very, very loopy from the pain medications but her pain level seemed a little bit better, so I guess that is a good trade off. Thanks for the continued prayers, thoughts and support!
I haven't spoken with Mom yet today but I did talk with her some yesterday. She was very, very loopy from the pain medications but her pain level seemed a little bit better, so I guess that is a good trade off. Thanks for the continued prayers, thoughts and support!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Please Pray for Pain Relief
Please pray for Mom. She's in excruciating pain this morning. She called me at her wits end asking for help and we don't have test results yet so all they can do is give her more pain meds. She says it's quality of life issues. Please pray for her pain management, comfort, peace and some fast answers so we can change courses with her. I feel so helpless. Lord, help my Mom!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Still No News
I talked with Mom today and there's still no news on her lab results. The meds have her very loopy but she seems like maybe she isn't in so much pain. She was visiting with Gramme and Grandpa and cousin Dale when I called up there tonight. Hopefully we will have more info tomorrow...
Monday, December 20, 2010
Biopsy Day
Another quick update. They did Mom's biopsy today. We don't have the results yet, but we look forward to getting them (tomorrow maybe?) so that they can start to make her more comfortable. I talked with her this morning and her pain level was still extremely high, despite them continuing to increase her pain medications. I also spoke briefly with her this evening but she was extremely tired and the medicines made it hard to make a lot of sense out of what she was saying. Hopefully she can get some rest tonight.
Gramme and Grandpa were with her at the hospital today and said that her spirit was still very strong despite all that is going on with her. I was so happy to hear that.
For those wondering, yes I'm still pregnant. I don't want to get into the birth stuff right now because I'm in the midst of it. Suffice it to say that baby and I are both doing well and I will give you a birth story with more details after Lily is here.
Gramme and Grandpa were with her at the hospital today and said that her spirit was still very strong despite all that is going on with her. I was so happy to hear that.
For those wondering, yes I'm still pregnant. I don't want to get into the birth stuff right now because I'm in the midst of it. Suffice it to say that baby and I are both doing well and I will give you a birth story with more details after Lily is here.
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